Today marks nine years. Nine years ago today, I crossed the finish line at the District Cross country meet in third place. I qualified for Regionals. I crossed that line with one thing in mind—to keep running. I wanted to run from the truth—that my best friend and brother died today.
I tried to train for regionals which would take place the following Saturday. But through casserole delivery, hugs from friends and family, the viewing, the funeral, and the numbness, my training lacked. I showed up to that race. I started. I made it a passed mile one. Then I stopped.
Life is like that race. We find out something that keeps us from the fight. Maybe we fall and just cry. Maybe we run the other direction, hoping that sharp cringe in the backs of our necks will just disappear. When faced with adversity no one blames you. It was circumstantial. You had no control over your lack of fight.
Nine years have passed since you left. But there is still a part of you that pushes me through life’s race. Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of times I wanted to give up this race. But for me to put others through the pain you did, on purpose, is selfish.
I know I’m not running this race alone. Maybe you’re not here, but there is a part of me that pretends you are; that you are watching, keeping me constantly in training. I often think, how would Gabe feel about that? You are there, capturing my splits along this race. And because you’re here I know that I can keep running, fighting, and aiming for victory.
Nearly a decade is gone. Life has passing by. But there is one thing I ask: Run with Me until I Fly with You.
2 thoughts on “Run With Me”
Your writing is beautiful…..
Hi Bobbi, This is beautiful. I know your heart aches and the pain will never go away. I think about Gabe often and wonder if our loved one can see us. I know Gabe would be proud of you. I love your tattoo, it’s a beautiful saying and a very special way to always keep Gabe with you. I know it’s not the same, but I know what it’s like to have a brother taken away and all the hopes and dreams for the future are taken away with him. Life is hard moving on without them. Life will never be the same. Only Jesus bring can comfort and heal your pain. I Love you and I’m praying for you, Bobbi
Love your cousin, Stephanie